THINGS happened for reasons

humans are made in such ways that we appreciate things when its' no longer there. As example we appreciate our parents more once they r gone, we appreciate health more while we r sick... etc. I do think life is too short to dwell on small matter...u should really2 find what matters to u the most...of course the thing will change from time to time but at least it will keep u sane and organized thus making your life better.

i have a fren...who,s been with us since 6 months ago...but recently in ICU diagnosed with B-cells Lymphoma stage 4!!!. Just in a short while allah tarik nikmat sihat n hidup in her and give her this test...i do pray n hope she will get better...even the chances are slim.

I plan to live my life with no regrets and by that i mean, to have good relationship with people surrounding me....i do noticed some bad personal traits of mine.....

1) EGO- in sense of..when i say it's A it will be difficult to accept when people say it,s B but i will eventually changed my mind after i consider the pros n cons

2) PROCRASTINATE- i hate this trait but been doing it quite often

3) DIFFICULT TO ABOLISHED THE FEELING OF ANGER- until i bashed it to the person whom i am angry with

4)WANTED TO FEEL IN/ACCEPTED- sometimes too much is not good...

5) MANY MORE....that i cant recall at this time

Whatever it is....I'm glad to have such a loving and caring husband eventhough sometimes can be a bit angin....:p

Take care

FAMILY...

things happened recently make me wonder....am i a good daughter/sister/family member????

To start it...from ealier ge...i,m kinda a BRAT myself...being the youngest etc, i always get my way out. My father loves me so much...that no one even my mom can touch me..SERIOUSLY i do think my relation/feeling of attachment to my mother is lesser than to father..

MAK is always on abang side...which is OK but sometimes irritating cause she hopes so much from me and my sist but not abang...tuelah, thats why sometimes terasa agaknya...

When all of us grew up and all married now...we all have our ways to live. i dunno why it,s difficult for me to actually express ...on what am i feeling at this moment...but rase mcm something is suffocating me..i was previously away from parents scrutiny etc cause i choose to run far away rather than staying nearby...cause of the potential problems that could arise, and true enuff it happened...

This pass 3 days been feeling sad and down, but in the same time try very hard not to kecikkan hati hubby pulak..it's hard u know. To juggle both parties feelings but i have to do what i need to do...

Has not been contacting/visiting mom n dad as oftn as they want me too...
has not been making them happy

Has not.....has not.....has not.....

I don't know.....WHAT IT TAKES TO MAKE THEM HAPPY lagi nie......

surgical posting and life....in a nutshell

been in the colorectal almost 3 weeks already....mix feelings i must say...more lepak than obgyn i must say but because it,s not my bread n butter sgt so...mcm kurang best. But as u know i mix well with people...ignore jer kalau org rase aku nie...outspoken/biatch etc cause i cant change my true self to make someone likes me..NO WAY.

My dear fren...partner in crime IZUAN HALIK is in UK ...went off yesterday...actually really2 sad with him in UK...my other dear fren fauzan in ICU, my husband's cousin's son in ICU, my mother in law diagnosed with DM...too many things happened at one time....may allah bless us all...

Just finished watching blindside featuring sandra bullock and tim mcgraw...seriously it grew on me...the movie...dalam dunia nie a lot of unfortunate people...but how come, is till dont have means and ways to help them....why?

after this...off to surgery...meaning..meeting more new people. Scarry though cause dunno what is waiting for me. But as life goes on so fast...u just need to get through it no matter what...

HOPeFuLLy....there are good frens like these people who had made my life in the posting much more joyfull....gonna miss u people....but u will see me a lot...hehehehe!

feeling awkward...

been ages again...not crazily busy as before but been filling my time with rubbish. Still unable to finish up my proposal for the last 4 months...bad huh? But i promise myself (again ) to do it this time..for presentation in november. So please2...let it be the way i hope to be.

This sem...macam banyak memain in studies. I mean despite being in Prof Adeeb's team and being scrutinized almost every day or every other day i must say...still manage to lepak quite a lot..maybe sebab terasa tired of having to go there very much early etc.

Was discussing about men with collegues in hukm.....i finally knew what i think is sexy on men... simple white shirt with nice fitting blue jeans...especially with a buffed up body like my hubby (ehemmm) n mike delfino in desperate's housewife.....is definitely....YUMMY! yikes!

lonely again...

i am a bad muslim....seriously....the only thing i held firmly was only not to show my hair...to people..but on other things....hampeh! on and off i will b like this...occassionally i missed my prayers...still!!! at the age of 31 can u imagine...and yet i keep on hoping allah will give best of things to me...so memalukan...

exams fever...

When u are studying....one thing that u must be prepared of ...EXAMS. Eventually, it's the only way to determine either ur well equipped or not to be on your own. This might be true in certain cases but....in some...it's just totally absurd!

Since been involving in the world of medicine...i couldnt recall times when i was not preparing myself for exams...it's a never ending stories. Nevertheless, i chose my own path. Difference is between MOG and MRCOG it's more daunting and the exams are more tiring. We have short case/long case both obs and gynae/OSKE and then VIVA. Scarry heh....MRCOG part 2, OSKE only....okay fine...it is not as easy as it sounds but...at least they will not have to face the others. Of course it involves 2 parts theory and then practical. U have to pass both and even if u fail either, u still have to sit for both. Sound unfair ehhh...but who said everything in the world should be fair...

WHatever it is.....i would like to congratulate my senior especially ABG KAMARUL for passing the exams....well done i must say....